a note on disability and limitation.

“And they did all this DESPITE their disability…”  

I can’t help but cringe every time I hear the phrase “in spite of” or “despite” preceding one’s disability.  

Think about all the times you have heard this phrase—maybe in sensationalized news stories, when a keynote speaker is introduced, or on the back of a book jacket.  Have you ever stopped to question it?  Have you ever stopped to question that “inspirational” photo you see at your doctor’s office…you know the one…the one with the double amputee running a race that reads LIMITLESS underneath?  

The more I live, embrace, read, and study disability—the more I learn that limitations are not just in our beliefs or attitudes.  Limitations are all around us…us who live in a world that was not designed with disabled folks in mind. 

With disability comes limitation, plain and simple.  Folks with certain disabilities cannot catch a ball or drive.  Others cannot communicate without assistive technology.  Folks with various disabilities cannot just spontaneously run errands without having to meticulously plan their day.   

As a community (of both disabled and non-disabled folks), we have to get comfortable with the idea of co-existing with our limitations (and frankly co-existing with disability).  Pretending that our limitations do not exist or pretending that we are the exception to the rule is exhausting.  

I have dozens of moments in my daily life where I have to take a breath and ask myself the question: how I will dance with my disability today?  Maybe that means getting more rest, using my CCTV to read, or asking for rides.  Maybe that means cancelling plans or maybe that means working on that writing project until 2 AM because my eyes are finally not tired and the creative energy is flowing!  All of these options are ways my disability and I do a sensible cha-cha.  We are a team.  My disability does not exist to make my life miserable.  I quite like her (yeah, I talk to my disability like a her).  My disability, additionally, does not make me a superhuman who can do superhuman tasks “in spite of her.”   

Contrary to those doctor’s office posters, it’s not about beating the odds or living a limitless life.  It is about the daily dance with our limits that teaches us the most.