an inclusive leader stays curious

When we ask someone, “How are you?”, we very rarely get a reply other than, “fine,” or “good, thanks…how are you?”  The question is often no more than a pleasantry.

When I study the effectiveness of inclusive leadership, I find countless examples of how an inclusive leader is someone who holds a genuine curiosity about others.  This curiosity is fueled by empathy.  I believe that each of us can lead right where we are planted, be that in an office, on a stage, or in a zoom meeting.  If we seek to be an inclusive leader, we must know how to hold space for those around us.  By giving members of our team or department space, we open the door to increased possibility, empathy, collaboration, and growth.

Instead of asking your team, “How are you?”, I challenge you to ask the question, “How can I support you right now?” You could also ask, “What do you need?”  These questions, fueled by curiosity, allow the person you with the chance to take a breath, really think, and respond accordingly.  “How are you?”, is a question that often gets a brushed-off reaction.  How can you show up in support of your team by asking questions that seek a response rather than a reaction?  The question, “What do you need?”, holds space and allows you to show up in service.  Asking these questions may feel awkward at first, but keep going.  Stay curious.  Lean in.